We Didn't Start the Magic
by Sadie Lovegood
Summary: James Sirius and Albus Severus Potter are forced to do detention with Professor Longbottom one night…this is the fruit of their labor.


_**"We Didn't Start the Magic"**_

_**A/N: **__I was bored, so sue me. Enjoy. _

_**Summary: **__James and Albus Severus Potter are forced to do detention with Professor __Longbottom__ one night…this is the fruit of their labor. _

_**DISCLAIMER: "We Didn't Start the Fire" is all Billy **__**Joels**__**. This is just the Harry Potter lame parody of it. Enjoy anyways!**_

* * *

**14 March, 2020**

**Dear Professor ****Longbottom**

**On behalf of my little brother and I, I must confess your 'assignment' for us for detention (and we still insist it was Scorpius Malfoy who applied lipstick to those ****mandranks**** and relabeled them as '****womandrakes****') was rather boring and un-****Herbology****-like. Get WITH it, Professor! Write down a 500-word summary of the history of the Second War? In case you haven't noticed, we are the sons of Harry Potter. We get the stories crammed into our heads every other night around the dinner table at home, and hearing it here is like having a bad song drilled into your head. **

**It was while thinking this exact thought that Al and I were inspired to 'spice up' the assignment, which is written in verse as follows. We promise, when my future rock band **_**'James **__**Siriusly**__** Rocks' **_**makes it big, we will credit you as the inspiration for this number-one hit…that is, unless we totally forget about you by then (which we probably will). **

**We hope you enjoy, Professor ****Longbottom****, and sorry about the ****womandrakes.**

**Signed, James S. Potter and Al S. Potter**

* * *

Harry's Birthday, Hagrid Comes, Gringotts Banks at Diagon,

Off to Hogwarts for the first time, Ronnie says 'Hello!'

Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hey, who let the troll in?

Devil's Snare and Wizard's Chess, the Sorceror's Stone!

Hermione's a mudblood, Malfoy boy, what a scud!

His old dad Lucius sucks, slips Ginny the first Horcrux!

Chamber's open, what to do? Tom Riddle is after you!

Get the sword! Stab the book! Basilisk is biting dust!

_We didn't start the magic!_

_It was always flyin'_

_Honey, we ain't lyin'!_

_We didn't start the magic!_

_Sure, we didn't start it,_

_Now we cannot_ _part it!_

Remus Lupin comes to teach, dementors wanna make him screech

Not to worry, Swish-and-Flick, Go Patronus!

Random killer on the loose, looks as if Harry is juice,

"Not you, your rat!" Scabbers fooled us!

Black's free, wait hold on, full moon's up, Peter's gone!

Guess Black had to hide awhile, makes his getaway in style,

Buckbeak, Marauder's Map, Remus Lupin gets the sack,

Firebolt, wicked broom, see ya in a while!

_We didn't start the magic!_

_It was always flyin'_

_Honey, we ain't lyin'!_

_We didn't start the magic!_

_Sure, we didn't start it_

_Now we cannot part it!_

Scar hurts, write to Black, Quidditch World Cup gets attacked!

Hot cup, want more? Harry Potter's number four!

Crazy eyes, bloody skies, rigged Portkey in disguise,

Bye Cedric, steal some blood, Voldie's in the neighborhood!

Grimmauld Place, Black is back, Umbridge deals a lotta flack,

Harry loves Cho Chang, but it's just a stupid fling

DA, here to learn! Dolores' butt is gonna burn!

Occulmency's Snape thing, Voldie's such a wingding!

_We didn't start the magic!_

_It was always flyin'_

_Honey, we ain't lyin'!_

_We didn't start the magic!_

_Sure, we didn't start it_

_Now we cannot part it_!

Sirius is in pain, DA's gonna help again,

Curtains, Bellatrix, doesn't make a good mix!

Fudge admits that Voldie's back, duh, you moron, hit the sack!

Weasley twins with their tricks, even this they cannot fix!

Slughorn, Apparate, Ginny Weasley's lookin' great!

Dumbledore's blown away, what else do I have to say?!

_We didn't start the magic!_

_It was always flyin'_

_Honey, we ain't lyin'!_

_We didn't start the magic!_

_Sure, we didn't start it_

_Now we cannot part it!_

Come of age, time to go, Lupin is all married now

Say goodbye to Mad Eye, Horcruxes all gotta die

Voldie's got a new regime, making Muggles wanna scream,

Locket down, Cup down, white doe helps without a sound!

Lupin's baby, diadem, battle time, 'Surrender Him!'

Snape dies, Harry cries, now he knows he has to fry…

Neville rocks Nagini's head, Harry Potter isn't dead!

50 gone but life is good, Peace back in the neighborhood!

_We didn't start the magic!_

_It was always flyin'_

_Honey, we ain't lyin'!_

_We didn't start the magic!_

_But now Voldie's gone_

_and our Daddy won, he won, he won, he won!_

_We didn't start the magic!_

_It was always flyin'_

_Honey, we ain't lyin'!_

_We didn't start the magic!_

_Sure, we didn't start it_

_Now we cannot part it!_


End file.
